V
Now I can hide.
The beast coming
will never find me
in this dark cave.
I must now go deeper into it.
Humidity grows
and light is each step dimmer.
Frogs croak, wings fly above…
Darkness seems to play with my eyes
I try to rely on my other senses
It’s when my stomach remembers me
I still have to eat something for the day
My sight’s attempt to adapt to the dark
is as ineffective as a wolf
trying to prey on something by itself
I think I see a-void between the rocky walls
Was that the hemline of someone’s clothes
walking towards what seems to be
an endless, inner part of the cave?
I guess I might have heard steps,
although I did not give it to much of importance
when I only thought I heard it with the left ear
Maybe the noisy silence of this place
is also messing with my head…
I feel scared.
Who is this stranger that hides in there?
I cannot go back now.
It would be too risky.
The shadows are now my best companion,
but am I really safe as I’m surrounded by it?
I press my fingers
against the certainty of Godly-placed rocks
as I decide to go further.
From the ceiling there is a thin waterfall.
I hear the sound of it with my left ear…
but behind this waterfall there is this figure.
It’s a man the same age and height as me.
He contorts himself against the wall, terrified.
The look in his eyes is of complete horror.
I hear a high pitch sound with my right ear.
What the heck is it that is wrong with me?
His breathing is fast.
As I approach the waterfall, I see a reflex on it.
Its nails are huge
and fur covers its body.
There is bloodlust in its eyes
And rage in its clenched canines.
I try to run from it also moving away
into the veils of water falling
from above
only to be hit by a rock
the man was secretly holding.
It hits my left cheek.
I feel as if claws had sliced my right cheek, though.
I can’t dodge his ongoing attacks.
As the rock hits my head I grow dizzier and dizzier,
And feel like vomiting.
I have no more strength to say anything;
not even move…
The only sound I can produce
is a dying growl.
As life comes out of me,
my eyes finally adapt to the dark.
I realize there is only one person here.
Now it’s too late to try to solve
the trichotomy in me.
by José Ruy Pimentel de Castro
whoa! I so fell in love with this! The words you used pulled me and and the more I read the more my mind craved more… really excellent work!
~L
~L said this on January 4, 2012 at 4:02 am |
Very nice.
Happy new year.
meiro said this on January 4, 2012 at 11:36 am |
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Αρθρα Pros said this on January 5, 2012 at 12:27 am |
A vividly dark write. Keeps the reader going throughout! Nicely done!
charlesmashburn said this on January 5, 2012 at 3:01 am |
Awesome!
Chevrefeuille said this on January 5, 2012 at 3:05 am |
lovely story, well done…
may sunshine staying focused on you.
Taylor said this on January 5, 2012 at 3:44 am |
Multiple layers of darkness and meaning. I thoroughly enjoyed this mind trip through the the darkness. Well written!
danroberson said this on January 5, 2012 at 4:39 am |
This is wonderful. I felt as though I were inside your anxious dream. Very well written piece!
Kay Salady said this on January 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm |
great take on it.
🙂
Natalie said this on January 5, 2012 at 5:40 pm |
A suspenseful read, full of detail to draw the reader into the narrator’s world.
Traci B said this on January 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm |
‘The noisy silence of this place,” is in itself quite eerie and scary. In a dark place where there is absolutely no sound at all is when you hear the scariest sound, either the pounding of your heart or the absolute silence telling you that you are so alone. This was a wonderful piece that caught and drew me in. Would really love to read more about this character. Thanks so much for sharing. Blessings!
http://elizena-lovingmycreator.blogspot.com/
elizena said this on January 13, 2012 at 2:29 am |
creative,
Incredible imagery!
Hope all is well,
Appreciated your support along the way,
Welcome sharing a random piece with us today,
You rock.
Keep it up.
xoxox
Jingle Poetry at The Gooseberry Garden Values Your Support said this on January 26, 2012 at 3:09 am |